Do you hear voices?

When I hear about people hearing voices I wonder what the difference is between the voices that mean you are clinically insane and the voices that I hear in my head. I hope there is a difference!

I have my loud conscious head voice which is most definitely me. It is the voice that is saying these words in my head as I think and type them. Its the voice of my thoughts, shall I get up now, I need to buy milk, I wonder why he did that etc etc through the day. If I try I can consciously stop this voice reasonable easily, I have to concentrate because as soon as I don't it starts up again generally with a thought like "I can't hear it, oh crap there it is".

Once this voice is quiet I can become more aware of the other voices, the next loudest voice is probably my subconscious. I'm not really sure if that's what it is but its the best way I can describe those thoughts. This is continuous but I don't always notice it. This is the part of my mind that seems to be creative, it is where ideas whiz around at high speed. I'm not always sure this voice is mine, it has ideas and I don't know where they come from, they are random and often interesting thoughts. When I am trying to relax and my conscious thoughts are focused on deep breathing or not thinking these thoughts are easier to hear. When I am trying to sleep it is this voice that keeps me awake. If I try really hard I can get these thoughts to join the conscious thoughts and get them to focus on breathing in and out or counting sheep.

Only then do I become aware of the third voice, it is very quiet but I can hear it between the words when the conscious and subconscious thoughts are synchronised. It seems to be a questioner, or perhaps interrogator is a better description. It asks "why did you do that?" "What did they mean when they said ......?" "Where is Mr Midnite tonight?" Most often it isn't a nice voice and the conscious and subconscious thoughts have to leap in with answers to try to defend myself. The conscious is training its self to say "I don't need to worry about these things, I'm happy and I'm not going to defend myself." This voice isn't always there but when it is I can't really stop it from continuing, its best then to just let my subconscious and conscious thoughts talk over it and hope that it doesn't manage to influence their thoughts.

Below the questioner or maybe instead of it there is another voice that I can only hear if the conscious and subconscious thoughts are in sync and the questioner is out. It is very very quiet, I call it the whisperer. It is much nicer than the questioner, it is a whisper of hopes and dreams. I wish this voice was louder. Perhaps it is the reverse of the questioner, the positive version because within the hopes there are questions.

I suspect there are 9 levels of voices, similar to the levels of hell in Dante's inferno. The very bottom of the levels are the voices I can't distinguish but they are the ones that set the time of everything. I can't hear the words but I can pick up the feelings behind the words. They are what I think of as mood voices, if they are positive then I am happy and positive too. If they get too excited then I become a bit hyper. If they are negative their influence causes me to become depressed and negative.

I have no real control over the lower voices but having tried to work on positive thinking I suspect that if I train my conscious thoughts to be happy and positive it will influence the lower ones and help them to stay positive.

I have no idea if this is normal, perhaps I do hear voices in a crazy way but as long as they don't control me I don't suppose it's a problem?

4 comments:

Amber said...

I love the reference to Dante's Inferno.

You are not crazy, I have these same voices too. But then, I am crazy....so maybe you are.

Girl, let's just be crazy together!!

PS: Love the cat! I know Iron will too!

Iron Criterion said...

I do love the cat.

The difference between being mentally insane and simply having a strange sub-concious system is, that all insane people believe the voice comes from a "3rd party" and not from their own mind. i.e As though a stranger were speaking to them.

Plus if you think you are crazy you are perfectly sane :)

DanWins said...

We are all "NUTS" thats why we are perfectly "Sane". the "Sane" ones are the ones we need to "Lock Up".

And No my last article did not go "Whoosh" over your head. And Yes the World Cup will be interesting especially since Saturday will be US Vs UK. Will make for a good Match but I think your strikers and forwards are stronger in general than ours.

SJ said...

I expiernce something very similar on the voice front, would be nice if there was a shut off switch. My impression is that the masses don’t expiernce this phenomenon though, they just get single thoughts like “Im hungry”, “Im bored” and ‘lets run into a brick wall”

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30 something female, GSOH, independent, unreliable, seeks sanity. Must like dogs and handbags!