To do or not to do

That is the question.

I have a problem.  I have life guilt.  It is a strange thing, I wonder if you get it too.

Life guilt is where you feel bad that you are not making the most of your life. I feel quite bad about this, it bugs me, clearly this is linked to some of my other problems.  I swing between feeling that I am too busy and need a break and the feeling that I am not doing enough.  I can't decide which is right.



My week is I think pretty full.  Monday to Friday I'm at work.  Monday to Thursday I get up and do dog training before work, Friday it is after work.  Wednesday night, Saturday morning and the occasional Sunday I do Yoga.  Sunday afternoons I take Sasha to agility.  Tuesday Night I generally visit best friends and the boys.  Monday, Wednesday and at least one other night I see Mr Midnite.  I also need to sleep plus all those other boring things like food shopping, cleaning etc etc.  By Friday night after dog training I'm normally happy to stay in and watch TV with the furry ones and Mr Midnite if he isn't busy.  My parents often say they wish I was going out when I speak to them but really I'm not bothered, I'm tired and just want to chill.

This weekend I missed my Saturday yoga and stayed in bed with Mr M.  After a nice lie in I took the girls to the beach, did my shopping, cleaned the bathroom, did my washing and searched for the perfect jeans.  Today I have been catching up on blogs, doing some dog training but generally just relaxing.  I am missing dog agility because its cold and windy outside and I just don't feel like it.

And here comes the guilt, 2 days and I haven't achieved much.  I would like to do more and now I feel like I have wasted valuable time.  I can't get my head around the idea that doing nothing is an acceptable use of time.  I am sitting thinking that I should have:
- gone to agility
- sorted out my wardrobe
- painted my hall cupboard
- bathed the dogs
- taken some clothes I bought back
- done my ironing
- read my friends book
- taken the girls for a long walk
- visited friends
- etc etc etc.

Do other people do this or is it just me?

6 comments:

Mustang Sally said...

Good grief woman, I'm getting exhausted just looking at your schedule! I'm betting your a fire sign.

It's not only okay to do nothing occasionally ... it is okay to enjoy it too. Oh, and just for the record ... going to the beach, and shopping, and cleaning, and laundry, and dog training, and blogging ... is NOT doing nothing LOL.

Just one thought ... if you make yourself feel bad about it, you've defeated the whole purpose of relaxing.

Peace,
Sally

Mrs Midnite said...

Yes Sally I see that, maybe if I stick nothing in my diary it will help me accept that it is a valuble use of time.

#1Nana said...

Time to reframe your thinking. Doing things that please you is NOT doing nothing. Reading, writing and taking time to reflect is important to maintain your balance. It is time invested in yourself. Just like the time you take to train the dogs...it is time invested in your personal growth and sanity. You don't expect the dogs to improve without investing time do you? Don't feel guilty about taking time to do what is pleasurable for you. This is the pot calling the kettle black because I have struggled with the same issue in retirement.

Amorphous Trapezoid said...

Leroy here. I, on the other hand, am the laziest person I know -- by a light-year. I SHOULD be... looking for work, cleaning my house (by a lot), replacing the foundation and plumbing of said house, getting a colonoscopy, etc etc etc.... No, you don't have any reason to feel guilty. But my opinion on the matter is worthless.

Just Plain Tired said...

Looking at the things you think you should have done and it dawned on me that most of those things can be done in the future. Taking a break from the mundane, to perform other (possibly mundane) things isn't a bad thing. After all we're humans, not robots, it's okay to change things up a bit.

(my use of the word mundane may be inappropriate, its just what popped on to the screen)

CkretsGalore said...

Yeah you're definitely not alone darlin'!
I spend 10 days away at work up North and basically only have 3 full days at home.
Generally I am on the go and if I take a day to just vegetate I feel guilty.
Then I realize..I deserve MY time. :)

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30 something female, GSOH, independent, unreliable, seeks sanity. Must like dogs and handbags!