Letter 1 - My best friends

Dear Mrs and Mr Best Friend

I have known you both longer than you have known each other.  I never realised you hadn't met until after you had met and got together.  Now look at you both, married with two little boys.

I met you both at university, this gives me the opportunity to joke that I lived with you, boy best friend because of the giant house we shared for a year.  This was when you were with the wrong girl, maybe that makes you appreciate the right one so much more.  I didn't know you so well girl best friend, just enough to chat with you outside lectures.

We stayed in touch when university was finished and then we all ended up in Edinburgh working for the same company.  Coincidence?  No, because once one of you had a job you directed our CVs to the right places and got the others in too.

Of course there used to be four of us but you both spotted the problems in my relationship with Paul long before I did.  I was stupidly worried when we split up that you would fall on his side in the great friend divide but turns out you had only put up with him because of me for ages.  I realise you had tried to subtly point out some of the things that were going on but I hadn't heard.  You were there for me right through that breakup and made moving in on my own much easier than it could have been. 

During all the time we spent together I never felt uncomfortable even though you were a couple.  I'm not sure how other girls would manage if their boyfriend had such a close girl friend but it has never been a problem.  The three of us had some fantastic holidays together and great nights out.  When you eventually got married I was your bridesmaid and I don't think I could have been happier.

I know things change when people have children and we do see a bit less of each other.  I think it took a little while for you to realise that I don't mind doing some of the children things.  Going to the zoo is great anyway but sometimes I do kid things just to see my friends.  It was hard for me too at first, I had to get my head around how much of your time the boys take and that it isn't that you don't want to phone or go out it's just time. 

I didn't realise until I started to see Mr Midnite how well you understand me girl best friend.  No one else seems to understand that he is just what I needed after my relationship with Paul and other dating disasters.  I love that you boy best friend can joke with me about how I was back then, that's much better than never mentioning it. 

Last year once again you were both there for me when I had another bad time.  Again you helped me out when  I really needed someone.  You both gave me advice and support without judging me.  Your reluctant acceptance that I am bipolar was probably the right reaction.  It must be obvious when you look back but the fact you didn't agree straight away made me realise that the extremes aren't the bits you remember and that they don't define me.

I'm so lucky to have you both as friends, I hope you realise how much I do appreciate you.  I don't think I have ever told you, maybe I should try.  I love you both and I love your boys, even big boy on his bad days.  I was going to say I hope one day I can help you the way you both helped and supported me but that's not true.  I hope I never have to because I don't want either of you to have times that bad.  But if you do I will do everything I can to be the sort of friend that you have been to me.



Mrs Midnite said...

You have no idea how long that took!

DanWins said...

Good Friends are hard to beat!

Didn't have my post up two minutes and you had a comment/question -fast!

A Drunken Dwarf with a female ghost hovering over him in the midst of books and lit candles.

is the answer.

Don't tell anyone what that is the answer to: let them find out on their own.

fizzee rascal said...

Great post.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful post Mrs. Midnite. It is making me want to do the 30 letter challenge too.

I too have friends like this. Cherish them.

PS: I know I tagged you for 15 questions, but you know, you only have to answer either the 8 original ones or the 7 new ones. Your choice.

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30 something female, GSOH, independent, unreliable, seeks sanity. Must like dogs and handbags!