Loser

I'm sitting watching The Biggest Loser and wondering how these people lose so much weight each week.  I know they are very very big, morbidly obese in all cases but there are people loosing 14lbs each week.  How?

I understand they are locked in a ranch with diet and exercise advice and motivation on hand 24/7.  They have personal trainers who are pretty brutal but still 14lbs in a weeks.  How is that possible?  How is that healthy?

Take the biggest contestant ever, a woman weighing in at 476 lbs.  Wow that's scary but she looses 100 lbs in 9 weeks. 

I don't know about everyone else but when I decide I need to lose a few pounds I struggle to lose 1lb a week but she has lost an average of 10+lbs each week.  How?

I'm not a person that doesn't understand healthy diet and exercise, I know about calories, I understand nutrition.  I don't always make the right choices but I at least appreciate where I'm going wrong.  I have in the past struggled with weight gain when I have had certain types of tablets.  One that had a side effect of weight gain, it should have said increased appetite because I just couldn't stop eating.  I was waking up during the night and going to get food, any food.  I only took it for about 8 weeks and piled on.  I had to stop taking them because I felt so huge.  Once I stopped I lost that weight but it took much longer to lose than it did to put on.  A week on The Biggest Loser would have probably done it!

I could do with losing some weight, at the moment I must have gained some because my smaller clothes feel tight and uncomfortable.  I don't want to buy new bigger clothes.  I need to take inspiration from people I know who have lost loads of weight, people who can barely walk but have forced themselves to do it.  This woman at nearly 400lbs walk/jogged 2 miles.  I can't jog 2 miles. 

I walk a lot with the dogs but it isn't exactly power walking when you go at sniffing speed.  I do my yoga 2 to 3 times a week and that generally works up a sweat and leaves me with various painful muscles.  I also do all the dog training and agility but that isn't focused on me.  Maybe I should try to move about a bit more.

But my main problem must be food, I love food.  I also don't really like cooking so eating out works for me.  I love chocolate.  I like too many things that are not good for you, I eat them.

So how do I take inspiration from the Biggest Loser and lose my spare pounds?  Having just watched the last chance work out I realise they are pushed / push themselves so much harder than I do.  They look like they are about to have heart attacks.  One guy just collapsed on the treadmill and rolled off the back.  I guess you might need the brutal trainers to do this. 

Maybe a pound a week suits me!

Quiet mind

I discovered something today.  I can balance better when my mind is calm.  I discovered this over a few weeks of wobbling over during yoga with the very, very occasional class of perfect balance. 

Moria the yoga teacher said that when your mind is active and thinking about lots of things your focus is in your head and this makes it very hard to balance.  To balance you need to move your focus down your body to lower your centre of gravity.  A calm mind makes this easier.

On Wednesday night I attempted a tree pose and couldn't do it at all.  I was attempting just to raise one foot as high as my ankle and balance.  No chance, I was all over the place.  Today a graceful tree grew from my yoga mat, with my foot placed above the opposite knee and held there for a good minute, both sides.

Quick note: this picture is not me, I stole it off the Internet!

My main reason for doing yoga is to help me stay calm, to prevent the racing thoughts that fill up my head most of the time.  Today I have a quiet mind, I have great balance but sadly I can't think of anything really to blog about.  I'm sure the ideas will be back soon.

This weekend was a waste of make-up

For those of you bored with hearing about my Asbo dogs I thought I would bore you with a post about my weekend.

As the title might suggest it didn't go exactly as planned, it wasn't bad just not as I expected.  This weekend a girl I used to work with and was really good friends with was planning to visit Edinburgh.  We have had some ups and downs but I doubt she has noticed.  She is a very confident but self centered person.  She doesn't seem to get upset by anything and doesn't understand when other people get hurt or annoyed by things she says or does.  We were really good friends for almost a year and used to go out together all the time.  Her boyfriend was away doing a year in the US then, I knew when he came back I would see less of her but in actually fact I saw nothing of her.  She never once called to invite me out once he was back.  If I asked her she would say she was busy with her boyfriend.  We would sometimes end up in the same places and she would chat and want me to dance but I was never invited along.  Not long after he got back I was off work for nine weeks with depression.  She never phoned or even sent a text to see how I was.  So I stopped really counting her as a friend.  Later I would go out with her occasionally if it suited me but didn't worry if she was sitting in on her own.

So she was visiting Edinburgh, she said she couldn't wait to see me and that we would go out on Friday night.  So I dashed home from Asbo rehabilitation to find that Mr Midnite was heading out to an African fund raising event where he'd been asked to play the jembe.  I decided I go with him so I'd be in the city centre when my friend arrived.  Sent a text asking if she was in Edinburgh, she was and said she would text me once she knew where she was going. 

Quick change, favourite dress, bit of cleavage, cute shoes, make-up and hair done in 20 minutes and off we go.  I have to say I was well overdressed for the African fund raiser but I did quite enjoy it.  There was a fantastic group from Zimbabwe playing African instruments, singing and dancing, they were so alive and their enthusiasm was infectious.  After that there was some reading of African poetry by a writer I hadn't heard of, Charles Mungoshi.  I really enjoyed the reading so I've found a couple of short poems to share:

In the wilderness

The torrid silence of the October sun.

Miles upon miles and miles of burnt-out plains.

Suddenly you realise

you are talking loudly to your

shadow.

 

THE MAN WHO RAN AWAY FROM PAIN

He ran away from home

where, he thought, all pain

began.

He went to another country

Where he discovered

the pain of leaving home.

After the reading there was a singer with Mr Midnite playing drums, she asked us to join in but not a chance when it was in Shona.

Left there about 11 no call or text so I headed home with Mr Midnite which was probably more fun anyway.

Saturday I went off to my yoga class with only a tiny bit of foundation on, that was a waste too because it slid off my face during the sun salutation!  The yoga class included a try at doing the king posture, the headstand.  I couldn't do a headstand when I was a kid and unsurprisingly I still can't.  I gave it my best effort and surprised myself by managing to get the top of my back against the wall.  I think the law of gravity dictates that my head should never be asked to support the weight of my ass.  Allegedly you should take the weight in your arms, I need stronger arms.

A call came from my friend, apologies etc.  And a plan to go out around 8 in the evening, she would text me the details.  So at about 7 I get ready, new shoes, cute sandal things, short dress over trousers, hair done, make up on and cute handbag selected.  So I wait for the text, and wait, and wait.  9.45 I take the furry girls out and one of my neighbours is out smoking and we get talking.  He invites me in because they have a few friends in and are having some wine.  There I am once again extremely over dressed for the occasion.  I had a good night catching up on local gossip which includes my asbo dogs.  When I can home I found that my friend had actually called at 11.49, almost 4 hours late.  Needless to say I haven't bothered calling back.

Today has been a lazy one, catching up with my blog reading while cleaning my house, shopping etc.  No make-up required.  Back to dog school and work tomorrow.

Yoga ta love it.

You might remember I was looking for a yoga class.  Well I have now been yogaring for about a month and thought I would tell you about it.

I choose Hatha Yoga because it was on a weekend and the other weekend option was Ashtanga that sounded a bit energetic for me.  I've also gone along to two Yin yoga workshops and really like that.

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A swan kicked my butt

If you remember I decided to give yoga a try to help with my insomnia.  So last night I headed off to my first yoga class, this was a once a month workshop for Yin Yoga.  This is a different type of yoga with relatively easy poses held for much longer than normal.  I found all but one of the positions relatively easy although with my buzzing brain it is hard to stay still and not let my mind drift for 5 minutes.

After the class I felt quite energised but also calm.  I had a reasonably relaxed night and slept pretty well for a Sunday night after a weeks holiday.  This morning I do have a slight ache in my butt from the swan position or something like that.  You see where the blog title comes from now?

I start my beginners yoga course next weekend, it's Hatha Yoga so I think more main stream than this workshop but I have booked the next Yin class too. 

Here's hoping that all the positive benefits assigned to yoga are real.  I would like to think it can help me through the stress that I struggle with even though I am taking my tablets.

I feel drawn to you!

Today I went to an event in Glasgow called Glam, had a great day with some friends drinking cocktails and wandering around fashion stalls, having our make-up done, buying the odd trinket.  All very nice.

One of the exhibitors was a psychic, we went along to a workshop just to see what she was like.  She wanted someone to let her touch and look at their handbag to see what she could tell about them.  So I volunteered, must have been feeling brave. 

I am interested in the idea of psychic powers and like to give it a try and see what they say.  My Dad seems to attract gypsies etc who just approach him and tell him things, for no money!  I don't get that, I have to seek them out!

So up I hopped with handbag in hand and this is what she came up with:

1) I'm seeing two very different sides to your personality.  MrsM thought, I'm bipolar

2) You can be very secretive and keep to yourself but with the right people you are very open.  MrsM thought, I used to keep it all in but now I'm pretty open.  Still some things I'll only tell the odd person or my blog.

3) Have you recently been to the dentist?  MrsM thought no, but I used to be a dental nurse and had just had a chat about it last night.  Plus just before we started this I'd seen a stall about teeth whitening and had a memory of how boring I found that.

4) Strange I'm also seeing eyes, have you recently been to the optician?  MrsM thought, yes, yesterday.  See my blog about it - link
5) Are you involved with some sort of alternative therapy like Rekki or Yoga?  MrsM thought, I have just signed up for yoga classes (blogged about that too - link) at a place that does all sorts of alternative stuff.  I've been thinking about it in my aim to stay calm. 

6) You seem to be psychic yourself, have you noticed that?  MrsM thought, I've been told that before.  I have pretty good intuition and as Mr Midnite says I pick up moods much more than most.  I just think I'm sensitive to moods and how people are feeling.  Psychic said what I call sensitive is a psychic ability that I'm ignoring. I should follow my intuition.

So dear blog followers, tell me do you think these 6 things were wild stabs in the dark that are so general they could apply to anyone?  Do you think she is just a very observant person and perhaps things about me gave her clues?  Or do you think she truly has a power?

Interested to know what you think.

Fancy a yoga class?

Deep in the bosom of the gentle night
Is when I search for the light
Pick up my pen and start to write
I struggle, I fight dark forces in the clear moonlight
Without fear
Insomnia
I can't get no sleep

I'm currently suffering from really bad insomnia, it is driving me mental (well more mental than normal).  It's into the 4th week now and I just can't sleep.  I have had this before, it comes and goes and so far I haven't found a really good solution for it.  I've tried lots of different things over the years, milky drinks and bananas before bed, lavender sleep pillow, warm relaxing baths, set bed and get up times, cutting out caffeine, taking sleeping tablets, puppy cuddle therapy etc etc etc etc.

I used to do yoga during one of my exercise phases and I know it can help me relax so I was thinking of trying that to fight the insomnia.  Sunday night is my worst insomnia night, it's a close race but Sunday generally wins.  I suspect the cause is going back to work on Monday but as I don't actually lie awake thinking about work, no I lie awake wondering if I have dog food or if I should wear different shoes or composing blogs.  It's never anything obviously stressful, just keeps me awake.

So I googled "yoga Edinburgh Sunday" and found a few thousand places that do yoga classes.  Here's where it got confusing.  I used to go to my gym and do yoga, no problem.  Now there are hundreds of different types of yoga:

Hatha Yoga

Hatha Vinyasa Yoga
Ashtanga Yoga
Iyengar Yoga
Kundalini Yoga
Restorative Yoga
Yin Yoga
Yoga Nidra
Meditation
Pilates
Tai Chi

So which yoga class should I select to cure my insomnia?  Not a clue because I have no idea what the differences are, I'm a bit safer with the bottom 3 but they were not what I wanted.  If I was after a Tai Chi class I'd have googled Tai Chi. 

More research or should I just pick one with a cool name?