Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts

Lead and I will follow, or not

Just thought I would have a quick rant.

I have 2 dogs, I'm sure you have met them if you follow my blog.  They are cavalier king charles spaniels. Pretty much about the size of a cat, they are very friendly, overly so and this has caused me a problem.

Only dead fish go with the flow

I don't know where I heard this but it makes sense to me.  I constantly hear people saying they are just going with the flow.  I think it means just letting life take you where ever it wants without you particularly trying to direct anything.  I looked it up and google provided the following definitions:

To 'go with the flow' means to not have a particularly strong opinion on something, and thus follow the majority. Or to not attempt to exert a large amount of influence on the course of events.

What not to wear

No not a post about the fabulous Trinny and Susanna squeezing peoples wobbly bits and forcing them into interesting outfits.  It's a political post.  The French Government has started a process to ban the burka or niqab in a public place with a vote in the lower houseThe ban was by a massive majority: 335 to 1.  Pretty large majority and I hear Spain is about to have a similar vote.  Last night the UK Government stated that they wouldn't be following this precedent as it is decidedly unBritish to tell people what they can or can't wear.

Short bank rant

I'm currently trying to remortgage my flat while the interest rates are so low I thought I'd get a nice deal.  So I applied, got approved, valuation came back fine and that's the last I heard.  I had call the bank a few weeks ago and asked if everything was OK and it was fine.

So tonight I got home to find an e-mail from a "my conveyancer", I wasn't aware I had one and nearly deleted it.  The mail says:

Psycho girl moment

Does it happen to us all?  You are going along quite happy and then someone presses the "Psycho Girl Button" (PGB) and you become unhinged.

So here's what's got the PGB working:

I have been away for a lovely break with Mr Midnite and the furry girls in Skye.  Had a lovely time, will post pictures soon.  But during the holiday I had problems due to the beeping of Mr Midnite's mobile phone.  I thought I was cured of phone curiosity after a recent incident but it seems I'm not.  Many, many, many texts arrived from a person called JanNet it kept flashing up over and over again.  The PGB moved up to sensitive setting.

Arrrrgh

Promise promise to try not to do this often but must have a rant about work today.

I'm busy, busy, busy and struggling to get through all my work.  I've been busy since April and have mentioned it to my boss at each meeting but still the work keeps coming.  I have my clients and when they bring new work its mine regardless of how busy I am.  This isn't great but it would be OK if on top of that they didn't keep giving me more stuff.

We have a stupid workload tracking system, whenever I drop below 100% I say I can take something new.  I sad this in April and got 5 new projects ............... 5, I asked for 1.

There are people at work who have sat at between 50 and 75% capacity for months and they got no new projects.

How is that fair!

On top of that I have been asked to pick up extra stuff over the last few weeks. I have an issue saying no and they know it.  One of the bosses, not my line manager uses this to manipulate me, I know she is doing it.  She asked me to fit some training in this week and I really couldn't.  She made a comment about having to tell the big bosses that it won't be done and hit my guilt gland, before I know it I was agreeing to do the training.  Kicking myself for not standing my ground now.  That said I could kick her for using my weakness against me ........ bitch!

I've told them before that if I get too stressed for long periods it makes me manic, I get major insomnia and eventually I crash into depression.  I've asked them to listen to me when I say I'm busy / stressed because I don't want to get ill again.  It is in their interests too because if I got really bad I could end up off sick.  I don't want a light workload, I'll do my share and probably a bit more but when I say "too much" they should listen.  Last time we went round this cycle I went to HR and the company Doctor to get the department to listen.  Lasted about 8 months now we are going round again.

I have done everything I can to deal with my "mental health issues".  I try really hard to stop it from running my life.  I take drugs everyday and they help me a lot but they are not miracles, you can push me past their ability to help.  I know all the signs of me getting towards either manic or really depressed.  It took a lot of time and hundreds of pounds in therapy to get so I can cope. I have had to change my lifestyle in quite a few ways to focus on balance and calm.  I have to avoid over doing anything but I equally have to avoid falling into a pattern of doing nothing. 

Why would I invest all this time, money and for want of a better description soul searching to throw it all away.  I think work had an obligation to listen to me, I have been honest with them.  I work hard and I am really, really good at my job.  What is the problem with just accepting that I've said I'm busy so they shouldn't give me anything else for a few weeks.  Is that a lot to ask?

I sat in my car this morning and just didn't want to go in.  I finally went in at 9.12, twelve minutes late even though I was in the car park early.  I sat at my desk and looked at my list, unanswered e-mails etc and the thought "I can't do this" sprang into my head.  Luckily I have an on call therapist, I phone Mr Midnite and chatted to him for a while. 

He is pretty much the most chilled out person I have met.  He does get stressed but he kind of puts it away if he can't do anything and stops worrying.  Mr Midnite is big into The Secret and the whole positive thinking and energy thing.  He sort of does it naturally, he is generally a really positive, energetic person.  He is also kind of calm in a energetic way, he moves about a lot but it isn't a stress thing he just dances and drums and keeps moving. 

So after a quick therapy session I faced my pile of work head on with the thought.  I can do this, I'm good at this. I'll prioritise and do the important stuff the rest can wait.

Ohh and I booked next week off, will this help my workload?  No, but it will help meand guess who is most important?  YES  that's right, I am.  It'll all be there when I get back but I hope to be a calmer happier person who can deal with it and most importantly say NO to anything new.

No, just say NO!

Fancy that? No not really.

It is my cousin's daughter's 18th birthday party on Saturday night and I am invited.  Suspect this is to ensure I come up with the cash present. 

So apart from the fact that I have to drag myself and the girls over 100 miles to go to a party in a bar I have managed to avoid entering for almost 35 years I now hear it is fancy dress.  Woo hoo - not. 

Fancy dress is for parties with friends preferably house parties.  Not family parties!  Can't imagine my gran and dad getting dressed up.  I think there will be a bunch of 18 year olds in fancy dress at one end of the room and a crowd of family in normal clothes at the other.  I will be in the toilets taking off my costume cos trying to mix with the 18 year olds may make me look like I'm trying too hard.

I've done fancy dress, I was a cat once, best party ever ever ever.  I was a cool cat, couldn't actually do much with my nail claws but  looked good.  I've been the Munro woman - ooh boo be do, did a good Star Trek party once with facial enhancements to make me Bjoran.  All good fun involving quite a lot of alcohol.  If there was a fancy dress party involving a group of my friends I would put in loads of effort and planning and have a great time.   It's not so much the fancy dress as the family party / fancy dress combo.

Plus the short notice, not sure I can come up with a costume between now and Saturday while I'm at work and just before payday.  Therefore the choices of available costume are Gorilla, M&M, clown or Roman. 

Thinking M&M is the winner here.  It's roasting in the UK so gorilla is out for heat purposes, trust me all that hair is hot.  Clown, just not my thing I don't really like clowns.  Roman, well it is a good costume for a man but revealing for a woman.   So giant blue chocolate here I come.  Perhaps I'll tell you all about it, will be cheaper than therapy to get over the experience!

The good, the bad and the ugly

Customer service is something that we all deal with everyday.  In my job it is all important because we have a limited number of customers.  It seems that in other industries this is less important because they have unlimited numbers of customers.  But in the age of the Internet and social networking I think even the high street chains need to watch out.  Facebook has power, a group can keep Simon Cowl off the Christmas No 1 spot so they could do more.

Today I had an opticians appointment with the aim of getting some glasses I will actually wear in public.  I have contact lenses but the optician suggested taking occasional breaks, so the buying glasses appointment was arranged.  I arrived 20 minutes before my appointment with Mr Midnite in tow for the all important second opinion.  Managed to try on a couple of pairs that I had pre-selected last week.  Just as we were reaching the conclusion that the black frames were a bit harsh and eliminating them from the short list a optician employee approached:

"Can I help you" says optician woman.
"I have an appointment but I'm just picking some glasses first"  I replied.
"Well you had better come over and book in so that we can start the pre tests."
"I'm just going to choose some glasses first while I have someone here to help me"
"We need time before the appointment to do the pre-tests so you have to come now" optician woman snapped.
"I'm early anyway so I'll just have a quick look at some glasses"
"The appointment time doesn't include the pre-tests so you don't have time" was the next abrupt optical response.
So Mr Midnite joins in and asks "how long will this take?"
"About 10 minutes but then the optician appointment will be 40 minutes."
So I said "if I don't pick glasses now I won't be buying any."
Optician woman ignored this and said "we need to get you booked in."

So Mr Midnite left and I reluctantly followed her over to a desk.  Fair to say I was pretty annoyed and quite upset because I felt like she hadn't listened to me and that she had been rude.  I had been early so I definitely had time to pick the specs.  It was then I realised she hadn't even asked my name so in fact couldn't actually know I was the right person.

I sat down and she said:
"have you brought your glasses?"
"Yes."
"Have you got something to put your contact lenses in?"
"No, sorry I forgot."
The bitch gave me a dirty look.

So I said "I'm not doing this today" and got up.  I was going to leave but that seemed rude to the optician I was due to see next.  So I went over to the desk and just told the person there that I needed to cancel my appointment and that I would make another one.  Now I didn't intend to get her in trouble or complain but just her bad luck (or karma as I like to call it)the guy I spoke to was the owner.  He asked what happened and was very nice.  He got me to sit back down and he said he didn't want any of his customers leaving looking like they might cry, which I did.  I told him what happened and he apologised and now I'm getting a discount when I go back.

I wouldn't normally make a fuss but this woman never smiled, her tone of voice was not good, she was abrupt and snappy and to me gave off a very negative vibe.  I'm going to say she was ugly, I don't mean in looks, I mean in attitude.  I really didn't want her near my eyes. 

Guess it didn't matter to her if I bought glasses or not she would still get paid.  The owner clearly saw it differently.

Spoke to Mr Midnite after and he agreed that she was rude.  He said he could see that I was picking up the negativity and he knew I wasn't going to be happy.  I am very empathic according to other people! 

Now I am refusing to let myself feel guilty.  I know she might just have been having a bad day but I have bad days and I would swear my clients don't know, my colleagues do though!

Scotland vs England


The World Cup has provided the opportunity for the Scottish at work to increase their light hearted abuse of the English.  Although I am mixed race (English and Scottish) I am classed as English because I grew up south of the border and therefore have been included in the comments.

Work has decorated the canteen with a banner holding all the flags of the Word Cup teams, the English flag (The St George's Cross) has been removed.  Offices have been decorated with the USA, Algeria and Slovenia flags to show the Scottish support for the rest of group C.  Any English person displaying their support for the home team is just asking for trouble.

The majority of Scottish people who join in with this acceptable form of racism are just having a joke.  Obviously there is a long history of the English and Scottish fighting and the border moving up and down through the north east of England.  At times the border was so far south that I would have been 100% Scottish.  The joking can get a bit annoying, the Scottish hate to see England win and it can get a bit out of hand.  There are parts of the south of England where this situation is reversed but the majority of England likes to see Scotland do well, if they were in the World Cup I think most of England would support them. 

Listening to the banter at work on Friday made me think about racism and what that actually means.

The UN definition of  the term racial discrimination:
shall mean any distinction, exclusion, restriction or preference based on race, colour, descent, or national or ethnic origin which has the purpose or effect of nullifying or impairing the recognition, enjoyment or exercise, on an equal footing, of human rights and fundamental freedoms in the political, economic, social, cultural or any other field of public life.

Obviously real racism is a problem, if you don't get a job because of the colour of your skin that is clearly racism. If you have to sit in a different area because you are a different colour it's wrong in the same way as it would be wrong to segregate people based on sex or age.  I think it is quite clear that this is unacceptable and would be covered by the UN racial discrimination definition.

But the type of light hearted ribbing that we have between the Scottish and English, is that racism? I don't think it really is, there is no intent to disadvantage anyone with these comments.
But what does it mean for everyone else?  The majority of people are not racist but I think that a lot of people are frightened to say anything that highlights any differences in case they are seen as racist.  There are words that are not used because they have racist connections.  And yet many of these things are contradictory so that you can end up walking in a minefield of political correctness.

There are times when I know I have said things that people think are racist, I've seen the look on their faces when I've made a comment.  They are just so sensitive about the risk of offending someone that they wouldn't say things about another race that they wouldn't think twice about saying to an English person.  They avoid making jokes about appearance or culture, just in case.

I think this is crazy, we should be able to aknowledge and celebrate our differences rather than fear mentioning then in case we cause offence. 


Voyage of the Cavalier or Have we broken Evolution?

Reading another blog (Thanks Leroy) reminded me of a discussion I had a while ago with Mr Midnite on Evolution.

Natural selection (survival of the fittest) describes how genetic variations within a population can lead to change (evolution). By chance some have a variation that leads to them being better suited to their environment so they survive and thrive better than others. Individuals that survive and go on to reproduce may pass these helpful characteristics to their offspring.

So say you took a population of a species and split them across two environments, dessert and swamp. If you could come back thousands of years later you should find that the changes that have allowed survival in each location are different. The descendants in the two locations would look different. For example the swamp dwellers could have developed webbed feet to help swimming. The dessert animals could have changed colour to give better camouflage from predators.

When it comes to humans we, Homo sapiens, are currently the only species in the homo genus. It looks like we evolved from the great apes into animals that used tools and spent more time walking rather than climbing. It is thought that we evolved from apes to:

Homo Habilis (nicknamed handy man) who had smaller molars, bigger brains compared to a great ape and used basic tools

Homo erectus, you guessed it he walked upright. Changes to the knees and skull (foramen magnum) were required to allow this and Mr H. Erectus did it. He may also have used fire!

Then around 250,000 years ago Homo sapiens arrived, they are characterised by greater skull expansion and ability to use more complex tools.

In my mind evolution goes
Miss H. Habilis – “oooh he tall and has bone tool, me love him, me want his hairy babies”
Mr H. Erectus – “Me tall man, me spread tall seed to hairy ladies”
And a few years later
Miss H. Erectus – “Oooh he tall, straight and has big head, he control fire and make good food. Me love him, me want his big head babies”
Mr H. Sapiens – “ Hairy lady, me like”
Research suggests that our DNA is more alike between individuals than in other species. There are some distinctive genetic characteristics caused by environmental factors, these include skin colour, nose shape and invisible changes like ability to breathe better at high altitude but generally we are all pretty similar.

So what now for evolution of man? Searching the web there is lots of evidence that human evolution is going at high speed while other evidence claims it has ground to a halt.






I happen to think we have broken evolution because we have stopped natural selection in the way Darwin saw it:
• Evolution is driven by natural selection and genetic mutation, the mutations not suited to the environment don’t survive. But in today’s world the majority of human offspring survive long enough to reproduce. Infant mortality is lower than ever and medical advancements mean that children who wouldn’t have survived 20 to 30 years ago now live into adulthood.
• In recent history (hundreds rather than thousands of years ago) the powerful and successful men would have many legitimate and illegitimate children. Now well I’m going to go out on a limb and say I think (with no evidence to support it) that powerful and successful people have less children.
• Evolution seems to like isolated populations; these populations are more inclined towards random change. The world has become so connected that changes of random change are now very low. Also inbreeding is less likely by either mistake or intention. In fact we are much more likely now to get together with someone from a different ethnic group creating diversity but not powering evolution.


So natural selection has lost a lot of its power. Maybe man as we know him today is the same as man will be in thousands of years.

But perhaps natural selection is working in a different way. Survival of the fittest isn’t exactly the right way to describe natural selection because the fittest are not always the best adaptation for the environment. Examples I have spotted in my browsing include Neanderthal woman who could have kicked Terminators ass (sorry Arnie) and prehistoric Australian Aborigines who it is thought could easily take the modern 100M record.

People who reproduce most will determine the next steps in evolution because it is their genes, mutations and all that will be passed on the most. So who in our society reproduces most?
• It’s not your skinny size 0 models that the media flaunt before us as perfection. Low body fat prevents ovulation so they are much less likely to reproduce. Plus baby weight, stretch marks, I think not.
• What about the role models in our society? World leaders, actors, sports stars, pop stars? Well it looks like most will have a kid or two but there seems to be a new hobby to adopt one of each colour, “gotta catch em all” as they say.
• Industrial leaders, top business men and women, CEOs, Innovators etc? Most will have put their career first so probably looking at low birth rate here too.
• So what does that leave? The Jerry Springer section of society? You know the ones, you see them on Jerry’s show, Tricia, Maury etc. It usually goes something like “I know he’s my babies daddy, I ain’t never been with anyone else, see the baby looks like him, it’s his nose innit” closely followed by the proclamation “you are not the father”. I think we have a winner.


Yes they are reproducing, surviving and thriving. Physically the women are fertile, not too thin, not too fat. They are perfectly adapted for their environment but there is scope for evolution. I’m thinking of an increase in the ability to scream obscenities, better developed thumbs for game play and perhaps better vision and hearing for picking up the gossip.

Guess I’ll just have to pop back in 50,000 years and see what everyone looks like then.



Letter to Jason Derulo

Dear Jason Derulo (sing name)

I had some comments about your song "In my head".

Firstly why do you sing your own name at the start of the song. Is this so when it's played you know it is your song? It's not really important I just think it is odd.

My main comment is related to the words:
Everybodys looking for love. Oh. Oh.
Aint that the reason youre at this club. Oh. Oh.

I just wanted to mention that most girls go to clubs to have a laugh with their friends, a few drinks and a dance. Probably a large percentage have lovely men at home waiting for them.

Just stay with me now. Say the word and well go.
So you expect a girl you meet in a club to go home with you straight away. She might be looking for love but you're just looking for a one night stand.

Instead of talking let me demonstrate. Yeah.
Get down to business lets skip foreplay.
Lucky girl, you're not interested in talking or fore play, it's all about you isn't it Jason.

In my head, I see you all over me.
In my head, you fulfill my fantasy.

Further evidence of your selfish approach to sex.

Youll be screaming no.
Think about it Jason!

You'll see a side of love you've never known.
You think this is love, clearly you have no idea. Love is when you have a relationship, like getting to know the girl. Her name would be a start. Thinking of her needs as well as yours. Learning about what she likes and fulfilling her fantasies. What you are describing is lust, sex, booty call not love.

That said I'm sure with your sucessful music career you will have no trouble finding somebody to fulfill your fantasy!

Just thought I'd mention it!
Mrs Midnite
xx

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30 something female, GSOH, independent, unreliable, seeks sanity. Must like dogs and handbags!