Decisions, decisions

I struggle making some of the easy decisions that occur everyday, like should I have dessert or not, and if yes then what should it be?  Or which handbag to buy?  That's how I end up buying 5, they are all so nice.

So imagine the difficulty when it comes to really big, life changing decisions.

With the situation at work I am trying to decide if I am going to stay put and see how it turns out, or start looking at options now.

The company are closing 2 of the 4 Scottish sites, my job is safe but it will be different.  Whatever I do there will be changes.  I could move for a complete change or stay put for a potentially complete change.

I've been there nearly 10 years, maybe now is the time to move?

Some of the possible outcomes of staying put look exciting but some don't, it's a risk waiting to see which way it goes.  There are a few opportunities floating about that interest me but I have some new job fear going on, what if I don't like it?

I visited our new site in Italy last week and the boss there seemed keen for me to go back for a longer visit and get to know everyone.  This for me would be vital to my job.  When I discussed it with my boss here she didn't seem very enthusiastic.  She said "you wouldn't want to move out there would you?"  I just said that I hadn't really thought about it.  Her reply was "I was asked to put forward a list of people who might be interested but I didn't include you because of the dogs and Mr Midnite."  Firstly I don't see that the two things are connected,  I want to spend some time over there so I can do my job better.  If other people want to transfer I don't see that this impacts my request.  Secondly, who is she to make the decision about moving for me, I might have had a life long wish to live in Italy.  Dogs and Mr Midnite are mobile, if I'd decided to go then Mr Midnite would need to make his own decision.

I think this and a few other things are putting me off staying but there are lots of new opportunities that I hope are well managed so that they work out.  I'd like to stay for some of them.

But, there are some interesting looking alternatives.  There are possibilities to move locally to other companies in the same industry or to change completely.  I just can't decide if I should send my CV out and give something new a try.

I'm too good at risk assessment for big decisions, I see risks everywhere

When maybe I should be seeing possibilities

Anyway I haven't decided what to do yet, I haven't even attempted to update my CV yet.  Lack of action is that an unconscious decision to stay put?

January 2011 Sucked

Just thought I'd share that.

I moved into the new year feeling optimistic, the end of 2010 wasn't the best but I had high hopes for 2011. But

My gran after spending 2 months in hospital died last Wednesday afternoon. She was 85 and had a good life, we have a close family, I'm the only one who has moved away. She had a good life and had told everyone not to be upset about her. The infection she had wasn't clearing up and the only real option was surgery. It was very high risk but she got through the operation and seemed to be better but the infection had spread and there wasn't anything they could really do. She had signed a do not resuscitate order before the surgery in case her heart failed, she wasn't the type to be content sitting in bed so maybe this is better than something long and drawn out. It's a strange feeling because I am so far from my family nothing has changed for me but I can't help feeling sad.

My little dog, the red furry one, Star is in season and did a spectacular Houdini escape act earlier this week straight into the paws of a giant mixed breed monster. I shouted at him and he ran away with the little tart chasing him down the street. Me following after, when I caught her and was carrying her back the dog was chasing me. Must have looked like something from Benny Hill. I'm pretty sure he didn't get her but I have to wait three weeks before the vet can check. The dog has been hanging about outside with little Star sitting on the window ledge watching him and crying to get out. It's like some really wrong canine Romeo and Juliet.

I have had a stinky cold and a kidney infection for the whole of January, two courses of antibiotics to shift it. I'm feeling better now but somewhere I've lost a few weeks.

Work is awful with the treat of redundancy hanging over the majority of my colleagues, it is looking more and more like they will be closing two of our four sites so the mood isn't great.

Add to that the general January grey days and lack of funds it has been a crappy month.

So here's to February, the real New Year. I'm thinking in song lyrics, "Things can only get better" and "The only way is up, baby!"

On the positive side my antidepressants are clearly miracle drugs, I am coping with the January blues and I'm optimistic that things will improve.

I will be back with a happier post soon!
Mrs M